and then they’ll remember how Finn outed Santana and then everyone acted like that was an okay thing to do.
Apparently I Wrote This Whole Thing About the Movie Thor and Saved It in a Folder Labeled “Drafty Bullsthit [sic], Etc.” and Forgot All About It Until I Went File-Purging Last Night. So of Course it Belongs on the Internet. This is a Title.
Remember that time I went to see Thor, despite having no prior knowledge of the story beyond Vincent D’Onofrio’s starmaking turn as the auto mechanic in Adventures in Babysitting? WELL HERE’S WHAT I THOUGHT OF THE MOVIE.
From what I can gather, having seen the film all the way through to the post-credits clippymajigger, Thor is the blonde, space alien version of Encino Man. At the beginning of the movie he makes his daddy mad (what your daddy doooo?) and gets banished to Earth, where some science-folk pick him up and try to pass him off as their Human Friend who is Totally Not a Viking from Space, Seriously You Guys, We Swear. But then shit goes down, as shit always do, and some shady government guys come after him, and it is ON. Meanwhile, back in space, Thorncino Man’s smaller, darker, OBVIOUSLY ADOPTED I MEAN DUH brother Loki has hurt feelings and turns to the only means he has to express them: evil. Some other stuff happens, too, like Stringer Bell gets encased in ice for a while, but don’t worry you won’t recognize him as Stringer Bell until the end credits and it’s better that way or else you’ll be all YO STRING, WATCH YOUR BACK, which will distract you from the plot. You know what, nevermind, I wish the whole movie had been about Stringer Bell.
i…afhdsklf. so, i have to put aside for a second the fact that i just watched a show that literally bungled a lesbian storyline so badly i cannot fathom it, because! i was going to make a post about that (and may still), and i went looking, in research, for a few links to articles that discussed the CORRECT things to do when a friend or family member comes out to you. i thought, perhaps naively, that these would be fairly easy to find! so you can IMAGINE MY FUCKING SURPRISE when i couldn’t even find one, barring a piece that was so shaming that i honestly regret having read it.
so! here are some things to keep in mind when a friend or loved one comes out to you as queer, because someone apparently needs to say them somewhere!
[a quick note: i am using queer as an umbrella term to encompass the various and assorted different variants of gender and sexual identity. for more information on those variants, feel free to check out this website.]
1. this is not about you.
certainly—certainly!—it may feel like it is. you may be thinking of how this information impacts your life, or how you feel about it; you may be remembering your own experiences with queer perceptions, or queer people, or queer pamphlets, for all i care. and you know what? that’s just fine. on your own time, you may feel free to pour yourself a large cup of tea and work out how you feel about this new development in your life! that’s natural and normal; we, as human beings, have feelings about everything from our families to our favorite brands of cereal, and none of them are wrong.
however! when you are with the person who has come out to you, especially in the immediate wake of that conversation, you must swallow that down, because it is selfish! talking about your feelings on someone else’s coming out is like talking about your feelings on someone else’s loss—and i should point out, at this point, that i do not in any way mean to equate coming out as, or indeed being, queer with any kind of tragedy. it isn’t, and we will get to that in a second. i use loss only because it is the clearest parallel in terms of depth of feeling; the person who has come out to you, let’s just call them Person A, has done so against the weight of a thousand coming out stories that resolved badly, against the negativity still in our media and politics, against the fact that, just to use one example, as recently as 1973, “homosexuality” was listed as a psychological disorder by the American Psychiatric Organization! even if you are a deeply tolerant person and have made that known, there is still, always, the fear that your tolerance does not extend to Person A specifically! thus, the loss parallel makes sense, in the sense that some part of Person A is more emotionally raw than usual—the same way you would not respond to someone’s discussion of the loss of a family member with all the ways that loss was negatively affecting your life, you should not respond to someone’s coming out with it’s negative effects on you. IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU. maybe, at some point, when Person A is in a less raw place, you can have that conversation, but that is their call, because, again, not about you.
2. being queer is not a tragedy.
one of the things my mother said to me over and over after i came out to her: “i’m just worried about your safety.” and you know what, that was, in its way, incredibly sweet of her; she, as my mother, loved me enough that the idea of me being hurt for who i was kept her up nights. that warms my heart! but it also made me feel small and scared and wrong every time she said that, and it took me a long time to figure out why.
uhh forgot that i can borrow a computer so i will be back sporadically?
looks like im marrying my computer
reblogging just for that comment ^^^^ hahahaha
THE COMMENT ^^^^
THE COMMENT. I CANT^^^
I had to. What is air… The comment. I’m dying!
LOLOLOLOLO the comment^^^
story of my life.
have viruses on laptop
won’t be around for a while
help i’ve fallen for a fictional character and i can’t accept reality